Mom Guilt
I know this isn't a new topic. It's been covered before. But I also know the profound importance of not feeling alone. Having a community where you feel supported is so very important, especially as a mom. So, today I hope you are reminded that through the good, the bad, and the ugly, you are never alone.
The other day after a long day at work I picked up Nora from her daycare. She had a great day except for the one thing no mother of a toddler wants to hear and that is: she did not take a nap. Perfect. Upon hearing this my mind admittedly went into a spiral of negative thoughts and I couldn't help but feel a little bit less excited to be picking her up. And then it hit me. The mom guilt. I felt bad for not immediately embracing the ups and downs of toddlerhood and brushing of the fact that she didn't nap. After all, I haven't seen her since our brief encounter this morning and now we get to spend the next four precious hours together, right? Riiight...
My child, like many toddlers before her, feels as though her very existence is threatened by the fact that she feels sleepy. It's seemingly the worst thing that could happen. Tantrum after tantrum was thrown when we got home until finally I gave her a snack (plans of a successful dinner flying out the window) and set her in front of the T.V. And then it hit me again. The mom guilt. I felt bad for resorting to yet another replay of The Lion King to keep my child happy instead of spending every last energy reserve I had to keep her from screaming again. A flood of studies on children's exposure to too much television filled my mind which I promptly countered with memories of my own childhood and watching The Lion King on repeat. After all, didn't I turn out alright?
And then comes bedtime, every toddler's favorite time of the day. By this point nothing was making her happy except sitting on my lap and looking at "the babies" on my phone (archived Snapchat videos of herself) while holding her own baby doll. There it was again.. the guilt. Guilt over allowing her to have so much screen time right before bed during our self-imposed rule of, well, no screen time before bed. I began to question my own parenting skills and philosophies. Shouldn't I stick to my rules? I don't want her to become spoiled. She needs to learn to entertain herself, right?
After a half an hour of crying and consoling she finally fell into a blissful, albeit tear soaked, sleep and I took up my usual spot on the couch to read. Of course, being separated from the incident by a sleeping cherub baby the guilt began to seep back into my mind. But as I sat there, filling my cup back up from the depths of dryness, I began to remember what I often forget; I am doing my best. Am I perfect all the time? No. Do I try? Of course I do. Is my daughter healthy? Check. Happy? Check. Fed? Check. Then I'm doing just fine.
There's really no escaping mom guilt but we shouldn't--and don't have to--let it hijack our minds to the point of questioning our every decision as mothers. If we let the guilt consume us there's no way we can function as a happy and healthy mama, which is what our children need the most. So, the next time you're dealing with the fifth tantrum of the day or have turned on Frozen for the third time, remember: we are all just out here trying our best and we are not alone.
@lifewithtaylorj
The other day after a long day at work I picked up Nora from her daycare. She had a great day except for the one thing no mother of a toddler wants to hear and that is: she did not take a nap. Perfect. Upon hearing this my mind admittedly went into a spiral of negative thoughts and I couldn't help but feel a little bit less excited to be picking her up. And then it hit me. The mom guilt. I felt bad for not immediately embracing the ups and downs of toddlerhood and brushing of the fact that she didn't nap. After all, I haven't seen her since our brief encounter this morning and now we get to spend the next four precious hours together, right? Riiight...
My child, like many toddlers before her, feels as though her very existence is threatened by the fact that she feels sleepy. It's seemingly the worst thing that could happen. Tantrum after tantrum was thrown when we got home until finally I gave her a snack (plans of a successful dinner flying out the window) and set her in front of the T.V. And then it hit me again. The mom guilt. I felt bad for resorting to yet another replay of The Lion King to keep my child happy instead of spending every last energy reserve I had to keep her from screaming again. A flood of studies on children's exposure to too much television filled my mind which I promptly countered with memories of my own childhood and watching The Lion King on repeat. After all, didn't I turn out alright?
And then comes bedtime, every toddler's favorite time of the day. By this point nothing was making her happy except sitting on my lap and looking at "the babies" on my phone (archived Snapchat videos of herself) while holding her own baby doll. There it was again.. the guilt. Guilt over allowing her to have so much screen time right before bed during our self-imposed rule of, well, no screen time before bed. I began to question my own parenting skills and philosophies. Shouldn't I stick to my rules? I don't want her to become spoiled. She needs to learn to entertain herself, right?
After a half an hour of crying and consoling she finally fell into a blissful, albeit tear soaked, sleep and I took up my usual spot on the couch to read. Of course, being separated from the incident by a sleeping cherub baby the guilt began to seep back into my mind. But as I sat there, filling my cup back up from the depths of dryness, I began to remember what I often forget; I am doing my best. Am I perfect all the time? No. Do I try? Of course I do. Is my daughter healthy? Check. Happy? Check. Fed? Check. Then I'm doing just fine.
There's really no escaping mom guilt but we shouldn't--and don't have to--let it hijack our minds to the point of questioning our every decision as mothers. If we let the guilt consume us there's no way we can function as a happy and healthy mama, which is what our children need the most. So, the next time you're dealing with the fifth tantrum of the day or have turned on Frozen for the third time, remember: we are all just out here trying our best and we are not alone.
@lifewithtaylorj
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